< love-hate >

It seems so easy to feel sad. It’s just this wave that engulfs you and in no time, you have to surrender and admit defeat. you dont cry nor whine. but just feel nostalgic. you long for time to pass quickly yet at the same time you dont like it when age gets in on you.
Just hope my this nasty current of distress wont spread to the young & impressionable. They ought to be immersed in joy. optimism. innocence. contentment.

GSS is here! and i thought i would be way excited. and commit lots of impulsive acts, or rather great buys. but as it is, the shopping bug dont seem to catch on me yet. maybe it is a good thing. after all, i ought to save, save, save. earrings are never enough. i look with envy at the pretty pendants on the lush window displays. and that cartier ring and bangle. i keep complaining that my wardrobe is drab and i need more accessories, new tops, and bottoms! best if i can fit into those skinny jeans! i am also starting to fall in love with high heels man!

BUT i have earrings that have yet to be worn. and countless of accessories that i have not been wearing. its such a waste & i have to keep reminding myself that perhaps, i dont need them at all. they dont complete me as a person. and i am so lazy to dress up too. And i knew I would teeter, rather than strut elegantly in those stilettos. moreover, i should better my finances. probably invest. ha! or engage in more meaningful pursuits like music or something.

i can be so full of contradictions sometimes.

< random from nowhere >

i was more than tired today.
like what emily said before. "i am sick. i am sick of school.''
arghz. took a aftn nap like first time this yr. i am rejuvenated.

i have stopped short of doing work. so hard to get started and going man.

i am stil in the midst of finding myself back. not again...

lets just not take things, friends & family for granted.

was chatting with jackie & wee kwok on msn. its just so so so long since i last catch up with them. ha. and wk says he is patching up friendship la! haha.
jackie was suggesting that since i love tattoos so much, i can design them, then we can shape them into jewellery or sth. i seriously didnt think of it la. not bad an idea. except that i cant draw. ha! but i manage to convince him that i am learning. lol.
oh & farhan too! hahha! and yes! i wanna watch shrek with shrek lor! so fun! haha! we 2 slackaholics lamenting our all-too 'luxurious' life yet declaring our desire to top the class man. what the!

coming friday is a good day. i am looking so so so forward. friends just keep me sane.

< International Forgive A Grudge Day >

I cant remember any grudge i held against anyone. not even recently.
not that i am a saint. not the fact that i dont engage in verbal conflicts or some sort.
but still, i pledge to be open minded & more forgiving.
i was heartened by what a 987 dj says about his father. Its not easy. esp when his father walks out of his family.
i wonder if i am magnanimous enough.
Enough said.
bearing grudges aint good for health either.

< more than appreciated >

13th May 07

I couldn’t remember when is the last time my entire family went out for more than a dinner.
And I am so glad that it happened yesterday.
Such times don’t come by easily. And I truly appreciate how everyone makes the day happen.
Catch the highly anticipated Spidey Man 3 at GV Max Vivo even though I have no particular liking for the seemingly popular spider-y icon. but so long everyone else enjoys it, nothing else much matters. Thanks to Vic for suggesting thg. Really.
Went for dinner at Kim Gary Restaurant. The serving for their western set meals is relatively big. Even a big eater like Dad said he is so full. And the service is truly commendable. Food at reasonable prices. Definitely worth a visit.

---------

12th May 07

There’s a new student in my tuition class today. She appears quiet yet I cant really fathom the expression when I happened to stole a few glances at her. is it animosity i sense? And my other kids were so busy chatting among themselves, leaving the poor girl all alone by herself. And she uttered the ‘f’ word right in front of me at a certain point in time. I was taken aback but she seemed non chalant, like it is any other English word. I let her know that it is not a good word. like how I will see how things go for subsequent lessons. If only I can shape and impact her in a positive way. Then for some reason, the other kids were vying for my attention, saying I didn’t teach them but only attended to the new student. Just how kids can get resentful sometimes.

I am impartial. Especially when it comes to kids. As best as I can, I treat all kids the same. No kid would want to be favoured less than another. It doesn’t make things all the better when the kid knows he is more favourable than the other. I understand this so well. But again, humans are not faultless.

I aim to be neutral and objective nonetheless.

< pull me out >

The week seemed long & I dread it. totally.
Finally the weekends are here.
But the moodiness still stays.
I need a respite to deal with the mounting pressures in the week ahead. And

seek a genuine interest in studying.

< the song >

was walking down orchard road today with germaine & the rest.
heard this song
that brought back bouts of memories.
that i almost teared.

< happy birthday Germaine & Yuexin! >

a hot day. humid and whatever u call it. is it a stark reminder of global warming again?
then again, i always feel lousy when the weather gets hot.

Cui is getting engaged on 7th jul! was mighty shocked by the sudden news. as in we are of the same age. i am still studying, and she is getting married!
i thought & thought & thought. and decided i should wish her well & congratulate her ya! after all, its her decision & i believe it is a wise one. whats with the age so long they are serious bout each other & each holds a stable job. and most imptly, her fiance treats her very well! this is really good news again!

happy 18th birthday Germaine!

And happy 18th birthday Yuexin in advance!

celebrated with a gigantic cake from secret recipe! Chocolate Indulgence! and dear Germaine was moved to tears! or so i thought. considering some misunderstanding before this. if only one do not make assumptions hastily but keep an open mind instead. a surprise is one when you least expect it.
So Germaine! u ought to have trust in us ya! we all love u, really!
and yes! do hope u gals love the presents we got for u! =)

the weekend just whizzed by. With bouts of emotions in between.
i need to get down to serious work.

< so proud >

was awfully surprised.
Ho Ching is featured in May 14 issue of TIME as one of The Most Influential People in The World. never mind that she is from the government-owned Tamasek Holdings and the Shin Corp saga. The fact that she hails from Singapore, makes me so proud of her. and what a honourable mention in the one of the world's most respected magazines.

hope to see more singaporeans putting themselves on the world map.

< mooody >

have been feeling so moody these days.
it pains to see my girlfriends getting upset over r/s issues. and there i was, of no help. at all.
brace up, girls!
i miss my 0612 classmates. so much.
i dont feel like doing any tutorial. nor look thru my lec notes.
it's really just so boring to hit the books now.
i want to sleep all my troubles away...

< unexpected >

30th Apr ~

it's a wonder how thoughts can change so drastically in a day. like i almost always try not to harbour great expectations but inevitably did. reckon i am stil learning to be more honest with myself.

first lesson:biz law. lecture seems interesting but it is really quite a mouthful, i reckon. its especially difficult to concentrate when the mind is drifting. anyway, the lecturer says one should read The Constitution of Singapore at least some point in their life. that point in my life is coming soon, i hope!

second lesson:business finance. the lesson is such a drab. and i cant believe one hour can be that long. the lack of notes didnt make it any better. i practically stare into space and the tutor. and i really think the tutor on some occasions look in my direction, as if to say why aint i jotting anything. arghz.

was complaining to my best friend that i only had a 'pau' during my lunch break. that one of the food court had closed down, resulting in the atrociously-long queues in the other eateries. cher, jean, emily, alfred & me practically trekked all the canteens and were utterly disgusted. and my best friend has to remind me that people are starving in Africa. ok, so i shant complain.

i stil need some getting used to.

eternal summer
Like how he pierced his left ear and teared.
Like the sweet little things that he had done for him.
A shoulder bag is all he needs for his escapades.
Coming out is embracing bravery.
Forbidden Love no longer.

I could interpret nor relate no more.